Breakfast For 1

Muppet had a "hair" appt this morning so it was an early start for a Sunday. She decided to get up even earlier though by having a seizure at 7 this morning. I debated whether or not to still take her to the groomers but her hair had gotten so long that I couldn't wait another week to get it cut. She was very clingy when we got there - it was like dropping a 3 year old off at day care - I felt like such a bad Mom! But she does look so cute now! I love it when she gets groomed because she looks like a puppy. Don't you think she's adorable!

While Muppet was at the groomer's I did something I haven't ever done - I went out to breakfast by myself. This may not sound like a very big deal but it is very hard to just go and sit in a restaurant by yourself. I almost didn't do it but I really wanted to just sit somewhere and have breakfast - I haven't gone out for breakfast in a long time and I had to convince myself not to let something like being alone stop me from doing something I wanted. I drove up and down Gilman Blvd and then finally turned in to the Denny's parking lot. I got out and strode right in and said 1 please. I sat down - placed my order and pulled out a book. I kept glancing around to see if people were staring at the lonely girl at the table but everyone seemed to be involved in their own conversations. See - no one else noticed me so there was nothing to have stressed out about. It was a very good breakfast! When I looked at my ticket to pay my bill it showed - Your Server Today Was Jesus - OK I know you pronounce it "heysoos" but I still think it was a sign.

This next week starts quarter end at my job so I may not be able to post as much as I usually do. It can get pretty hectic and most of my items are due at the beginning - long hours and stress city!

De

Guitar Hero!!

After the movie today L and I went to Target - my favorite place to wander around - we headed towards to electronic department after looking through the clothing section. As we came up to the camera counter out of the corner of my eye I saw the Guitar Hero boxes - every other week that I have been in Target they have only had this game for XBox and PS - I glanced over at them and there it was on the bottom shelf - a shiny new Guitar Hero III box that had Wii printed on the side!! I was so excited - I picked it up and placed it ever so carefully in my cart - L was like "Really!" - I said I had been looking for one for Wii since we got our Wii and they have never had any in stock!!


As soon as we got home L had it hooked up - and put together. She played this last summer when she was with her cousins in North Carolina. I have never played before but I have heard a lot about it. L played first - medium skill level - and she rocked!! She played right through song groups 1 and 2 to get another set of songs. It was then my turn - oh how sad - I got booed off the stage my first 3 tries - I gave it back to L and let her have at it - she just played her little heart out. On my next try I was able to get through song levels 1 and 2 on the Easy Skill Level - at least I didn't get booed off the stage again! I think I may be addicted to this game! I now need to get some friends together and have a guitar hero party! Of course - when L is out of the house or else we will never get a chance to play. I named my Guitar Hero band The Muppets! LOL! I couldn't think of anything else on the spot.

The movie 21 was OK - it was entertaining and all but it was a little slow in the middle and it was 2 hours long. I liked that it was based on a true story but at the end they don't update you on what happened with all the characters and where they are now. I guess they want you to go out and buy the book it is based on - Bringing Down The House - there aren't a lot of movies out right now - so if you want to go and see one at the theater this isn't a bad choice - in my opinion it might make a better rental - but that is my opinion and you may think differently. Let me know if you go see it and what you think. I did see some previews for some good movies coming out later this year - Sex and the City - Mamma Mia - Hancock (with Will Smith) - Speed Racer. All look good.

Oh - and I had Junior Mints and Junior Caramels as my movie candy.

Rock On!
De

Spring In The Pacific Northwest!

Need I say more than this picture! Yup - This is what I woke up to this morning! Snowy roofs and snowy grass! Muppet wasn't real thrilled when we went out this morning. Just a little cold on the tushy! I thought it was supposed to be spring! Hasn't Al Gore been preaching about global warming? I don't think Mother Nature has been listening.

On this "wintry" day I am going to go do something indoors. L and I are headed to the movies - yes we are going together! I know - very weird compared to how the week started! We are going to go see the new movie 21. It looks entertaining. We will stop at Walgreens first to get movie candy. It costs way too much at the theater. When :, my sister, and my nieces shop for purses we always comment on whether it is a good movie purse or not! Meaning whether we can get candy and possibly a bottle of pop in the purse without it looking conspicuous. I have a few "movie" purses. My favorite movie candies are Junior Mints and Raisinettes. What do you like to eat at the movies? Comment me.

When I get back I will let you know how the movie was.

Make it a great day!
De

Chili Feed!

Tomorrow at work we are having a chili feed. I volunteered to bring in a pot so that is what I have been doing tonight - cooking up a big batch of chili. I don't follow a written recipe so it turns out a little different each time I make it. I stick with the same basic ingredients: green and red peppers, onion, garlic, ground beef, black beans, pinto beans, chili beans, kidney beans, tomatoes, chili powder, and cumin. For some reason, this time it is a little soupier than usual. It is also a little more spicy. Now I am not a huge fan of spicy - so what is spicy to me is probably pretty mild to someone else. It is now in the crock pot and in the refrigerator. I will be driving to work tomorrow - would be pretty funny to get on the bus with a big crock pot of chili!

Hey C ~ want me to save you some!! I know how much you love beans and chili!!

While I was cooking I got to watch my beloved Cougars lose in the Sweet Sixteen NCAA round. I knew they would probably lose to UNC - which is why I didn't have them moving on in my bracket - but it would have been nice if it had at least been a close game. I wore my WSU sweatshirt to work today and when I was walking to meet my bus to head home someone in their car leaned out the window and yelled Go Cougs! Pretty funny seeing as I work in downtown Huskyville!

Update from yesterday - I have put a baby gate up in front of the bathroom where the cat box is! There is enough of a space so that the cats can get in and out but if little Miss Muppet tries to get in she will make noise knocking down the gate. So far so good tonight - no face full of kitty litter coming to kiss my face! Yuck!

Well - I am going to head to bed - I am tired from cooking - tired from watching basketball - and tomorrow is Friday!!

De

Better Days

Better day today. 

Work went well.  I am an AP Supervisor and to was invoice entry day.  It takes most of the day and it makes that day go by a lot faster.  It's pretty much heads down data entry.  I like that!  I feel like I have accomplished something.  

I have another blog I just started writing.  It is part of a myzip community.  I write about things going on in my neighborhood.  So far mostly restaurant reviews, upcoming events, etc.. There are other neighborhood bloggers out there - you should look at yours and see if anyone is blogging for your neighborhood.  The path is www."yourziphere".net - for example mine is www.98029.net I would love it if you took a look and left me comments.  

I finished the Jodi Picoult book I was reading.  It was so good - no surprise if you have read any of her previous books.  I finished it on the bus ride home -bad idea - as there are always tears when reading her book.  I like her books because they encourage you to look at things in a different way.  The underlying questions in this book were "Would you give up your vengeance against someone you hate if it meant saving someone you love?  Would you want your dreams to come true if it meant granting your enemy's dying wish?" By the time I got to the park and ride my eyes were all red and I am sure I had some mascara running down my face.  I decided I didn't need to go grocery shopping on my way home! LOL!  

OMG!  Muppet just walked up to me and she has kitty litter stuck to the fur around her face! Yuck!!  I think she just had some "Kitty Roca"  Why do dogs do that?  And then they come up to you and want to give you a Big Ole Kiss!  Gross! Gross!  I think I need to get her a toothbrush so I can brush her teeth after she's done this.  If anyone has any ideas on how to break a dog of this habit let me know!!

Anyways!!  I am now watching Big Brother.  Does anyone else watch this?  I can't believe how nutso Chelsia just got.  I mean honestly - did she really need to smash all those Easter Eggs?!?  I am pretty sure she is the one getting evicted tonight but we shall see.  I hope James doesn't get HOH tonight.  

L update - she woke up and made it to work today!!  I didn't ask if they said anything to her - she was kinda in a cranky mood when she got home.  She has since left to go hang out.  I asked her as she was walking out the door where she was going - she said out - with who - just out - who are you going to be with - Chelsea (slamming of the door) In case you are tracking with me L's birthday is in 45 days!  Not sure what will happen on that day. Any volunteers to help me out!  

Muppet had a seizure last night - at least she was nice and had it at 9PM and not in the middle of the night like she usually does.  Although it wouldn't have made much of a difference last night as I was wide awake most of the night for some reason.  I hate it when I can't sleep.  Maybe I will just blog if it happens again!  Middle of the night ramblings from De!  Now that would be something to read!

Be Careful What You Ask For

OK - so be careful what you ask for or at least be very specific!  I was feeling blah and wanted a change - I should have been specific that the change should not be Teen Drama!  I get home about 5:45 to find L sound asleep in her bed.  It takes awhile to wake her up and when I do and ask her if she went to work today the answer is *#@$!  Hmm.....I ask her if they called..her phone didn't ring..can't find the phone..located in her coat pocket out in the other room...yup they called..didn't leave a message though.  I told her she should call them right then but she decide going back to sleep was more fun.  

Ah - I should have started this with the information that she was not home when I got up to go to work this morning.  She called me about 730 to tell me she was at Jenny's house.  

She just came out of her room and said she wasn't feeling well.  She was on the phone and went outside to have a cigarette - its cold and raining out there - she came back in and ran to the bathroom to throw up.  I asked her if she fell off the wagon last night - gave me a blank look - I asked her if she had been doing drugs and she got mad at me for asking and said why would she be doing drugs with Jenny and Sean.  She is now back in her room.

So let me be clear - I want some adult fun in my life - no teen drama!!!

De

One Of Those Days

Ever had one of those days where you just feel blah and you're not sure why? That is me yesterday and today. It's not like anything specific has happened or not happened I'm just feeling down in the dumps. So - not really anything exciting or random to blog about. I don't hate my life right now but I am completely bored with it. I need some excitement. Match.com and eHarmony aren't really working for me. I feel like no one is willing to take a chance on me and get to know me and see that I am a fun person. When I get in one of these moods all I can focus on is everything I hate about myself and can't see anything good about me. I just want someone to like/love me for who I am and to be able to see past the outside and see what a wonderful person I am on the inside - kinda hard though when even I have a hard time doing that at times.

Oh well - I better start my work day. Sorry for the downer of a blog today. Hopefully things will start to look up.

De

Easter

Happy Easter!

I hope everyone is enjoying this Easter Sunday. I have no plans for today. I did get my favorite Hot Cross Buns from the QFC Bakery and I will heat those up along with som

e scrambled eggs for breakfast this morning. L is still asleep but I have put a basket for her outside her door. She will get it when ever she decides to wake up! I got myself my favorite Russell Stovers Chocolate Covered Marshmallow Bunnies. I have always loved those - eat the ears first! My other favorites were the Fruit and Nut Eggs that my Mom used to get for us when we were little but I can't find those anymore. They were pretty good size and I would slice off a piece and eat it - I could usually get it to last a few days. My other favorite part of family Easter has always been my Moms potato salad! It is so good - for dinner and for breakfast the next morning! I have tried to make it but my potatoes always end up too soft. Maybe I will try again today. After breakfast I may just have to run to the grocery store and grab a few items and make a dinner. If L is going to be home then it would be nice to have an Easter Dinner together.

What are your favorite Easter Memories? Leave me a comment and share them.

Happy Easter!

De

ABBA!!!

Mamma Mia - Here I go again - My My - How Can I Resist Ya!!!  OMG!!  That was the best Musical I have ever seen!  I loved going in to see a show for the first time and yet knowing the words to almost every song!  The cast was incredible - the seats were good - and I had a great time.  They did a wonderful job writing a storyline that fit with the music - flowed well from Act 1 to Act 2 - and was just a fun fun evening.  Who would have thought that my favorite band in the 70s would be a hit again in the new millennium!  

The whole evening was fun.  Lyd and I had dinner at Mexico in Pacific Place.  Can you guess what kind of food they served? That's right - Mexican.  I had some enchiladas and a strawberry daiquiri.  Both were pretty good.  The musical was at the Paramount Theater which was within walking distance of where we ate.  The crowd was quite the mix of people.  I was surprised at how many "young" kids were there.  We found our seats - which were up in the balcony center.  Good view except for the girl sitting in front of me couldn't find a comfortable position so I had to keep moving from side to side in order to see the whole stage.  If you live in the Seattle area or if you ever come to visit you really should go see the Paramount Theater.  It is an older theater and the inside is very ornate with a very high ceiling which creates great acoustics.  I have seen comedy acts, musicals, and concerts in this theater and have had a great experience each time.

After the show Lyd and I made our regular stop on a girls night out - - - Cheesecake Factory for a slice of Keylime Cheesecake.  This is manna from heaven!  It is so good - we get a slice of keylime every time we go there.  This time though - we each got 2 slices!!!  Yup - one for tonight and one for tomorrow.  She will be trying Tiramisu Cheesecake and I will be having Chocolate Mousse.  Just what I needed!!  I may have to walk a few extra steps tomorrow with Muppet to work it all off.

Now I am home - winding down a bit so I can get some sleep.  Next thing - go out to iTunes and see if I can get the soundtrack to Mamma Mia.  Then I can listen to it and be a Dancing Queen in the living room because that's The Name of The Game.  Knowing Me Knowing You - you have figured out that I am using titles to ABBA songs!  Honey, Honey that's it for now but Take A Chance On Me tomorrow and I'll see what I can come up with to write about.  S.O.S. time for me to go to bed!

Good Night ~

De

What Brings Back Memories For You

Just sitting at my desk waiting for Lyd to get here for girls night out. I am so looking forward to seeing Mamma Mia! I will definitely blog tonight and let you know all about it. I will probably break out my ABBA CDs when I get home. Drive L crazy with all the 70s music.



I remember when ABBA was very popular in the 70s. I was in Junior High and my friend Leslea and I would make up dance routines to the album and then put on a show for her parents. We had a blast.



Have you ever noticed that songs can bring back very vivid memories. I have been listening to a lot of 70s music lately and some of the songs can bring me back to Junior High dances. I can picture who I was dancing with - very weird. I can also remember the heartbreak when sad songs come on and sometimes I even remember which boy I was crying about.



Songs aren't the only thing that brings up memories for me. Smells and sounds do it too. Last night when I took Muppet outside it was raining and the sound of the raindrops landing on the hood of my jacket sounded just like rain hitting the blue tarp my Dad always put up at our camp sights when we were camping. I closed my eyes and I felt like I could almost smell the campfire and taste the s'mores.



When I drive to work and park my car on the outside garage level I can hear the seagulls and if I hear them at the same time I smell breakfast cooking from one of the restraunts the memories of Camp Sealth on Vashon Island come falling back into my head! I can remember singing songs outside the dining hall and waiting to get in and eat breakfast.



Speaking of Seagulls - here are some pictures of the ones that like to hang around the building I work in. Last year they had a nest with some babies. I am hoping we get babies again so I can take pictures of them.



Well - enough random memories and thoughts for now. I need to go freshen my face!!

Have a great Friday Night!

De

Happy Spring!!

Yay - it's Spring!

Have you ever wondered how the birds know when it is Spring? Do they have a calendar! Or do they just somehow know it's the first day of Spring? The reason I ask is that this morning when I took Muppet outside I could hear the birds singing in the trees. Now, they weren't doing that yesterday - as it was still winter - but they were this morning - the first morning of Spring. How did they know?!?

It was so nice and so relaxing to just stand outside, close my eyes, take in a big breath of the fresh air, and hear the birds. It definitely felt like Spring! I really enjoy this time of year and it is times like this that make me glad I live in Washington. We get to have 4 distinctive seasons. I don't think I would be happy where it is sunny all the time - I wouldn't appreciate the spring/summer as much as it would all be the same. Winter is the darkness and Spring is like the light at the end of the tunnel - when it gets here you feel rejuvenated and hopeful that things can only get better from here.

Have a great day!

De

What's Been Going On

I am tired. Not physically but mentally. I have been churning over in my head everything that has been going on and trying to come up with solutions. I was reminded yesterday that I need to ask for help and not try to take everything on by myself. I am feeling the weight of any decision that I might make. I think that is what is wearing me down. If I set rules that she ends up breaking and I set the consequences to be that she needs to move out at 18 am I going to be able to follow through on it. I worry about her being on her own - being on the streets - possible turning back to old bad friends. But if I let her stay and continue on the way she has been then am I enabling that behavior and making it impossible for her to change. Do I arrange for another family member to take her at 18 if she won't follow my rules - at least she wouldn't be out on the streets. Ahhhhhh!! See - doesn't even just reading this make your brain tired!

In other news!

Niki, L's cat, was sick last week and I took her to the vets Friday. $200 and 4 different medications later I think she is starting to get better! Have you ever tried to give a cat a pill! I have to give her a pill, a liquid antibiotic, and put drops in her ears twice a day! I have finally figured out that I need to wrap her in a towel to keep her legs from flailing around. She looks like a kitty burrito with a little black head poking out at one end. She is getting better at it though and she must know that I am the one helping her to feel better because she has been sleeping with me and coming up to me at night to just be laying right near me. Muppets not thrilled about this! She is a very jealous dog. It was funny on Sunday - I was on the couch and Niki crawled in to my lap and I was petting her and Muppet was on the floor looking very sad - the phone rang so I got up to answer it - when I got back to the couch Muppet jumped up really fast and crawled in to my lap and then just stared at Niki!! Too Funny!! Buffy has been taking care of Niki. After I give her the meds Buffy will come running over and start licking Niki and comforting her. Very sweet.

I walked with Muppet on Monday. Tuckered her out - she crashed Monday night!

I finally folded all my laundry last night and hung up my clothes! My room looks so much bigger!!

If you notice the time stamp on this blog - yes I am actually getting to work on time!! And - I have ridden the bus twice this week! I drove yesterday because I had an appointment at 5:00 back on the eastside. I am getting caught up on some reading while on the bus. Just got the new Jodi Piccoult book - very good so far. Lindsay gets it when I am done and then it gets passed on to Colleen.

I am looking forward to Friday! Lydia and I are going to go see the musical Mamma Mia!! Girls Night!!

Back to work!!

De

My Cats!!

I write a lot about Muppet and figured it was about time I wrote about my beautiful cats! I have two cats. Buffy and Niki. Buffy is mine and Niki belongs to L. I am a huge Buffy The Vampire Slayer fan which is why I named her that! She is the only kitten still around form her litter so she is "the chosen one" just like the vampire slayer!Here is Buffy playing in my sink!

This is Niki drinking out of the sink too! They both come running into my bathroom in the morning when they here me get up and turn on the water. Very interesting trying to get ready in the morning for work and sharing the sink with the two!

Buffy and Niki have become great friends. Niki joined the family a year after Buffy. Buffy's sister Joie unexpectedly passed away. L was going to get a new kitten but we saw Niki at PetCo and she had been there for a few months waiting to be adopted. They asked if she wanted to hold

her and let L know that she sometimes didn't like to be held. As soon as they got her out of the cage and put her in L's arms she just settled right in. Definitely a match made in pet heaven.

They are sharing the top part of a new scratching post I got them last weekend at Target. They had a different one but I think it was becoming too much of a climb for Niki to get to the top. SHe really seems to like this one.

Recovery. . . . Slow

I have been recovering this weekend from everything that went on over the past 2 weeks.  Things seemed to be calming down for awhile.  She was coming in at a fairly decent hour, calling me on her breaks just to talk.  The guy from a couple weekends ago has gone to rehab in Yakima for 3 - 4 weeks.  She is back to hanging around with her other friends.  The cranky teenage is coming back though.  You know the one I'm talking about - the everything revolves around me, snotty attitude, foul mouth, girls who storms in and out of the house.  I think this is typical teen behavior but with her it is kinda hard to tell.  

I am totally exhausted.  I think it is all starting to catch up with me.  I haven't gotten off the couch hardly at all this weekend.  Me and Muppet just hanging out. I caught up on some of my shows on DVR.   I did do some dishes today and cleaned the dining room.  Trying to make the house not feel so claustrophobic.  She has been out with Megan all day so it's been quiet - except for when she just came storming in looking for paint rollers and starting swearing because she couldn't find any - i told her where things were and when it wasn't exactly what she was looking for she sweared some more and headed back out of the house.  So........is this typical teen behavior?  I have a hard time determining if I am blowing things out of proportion or if she is really acting out of control.  I doubt myself and whether or not I am doing the right thing.  The last time I pushed the rules of the house she went on her 5 day Ecstasy binge.  Do I let that stop me from having rules and just let her run the house.  I am really confused right now.  Lately I just want to curl up under the covers and ignore it all.  

I am taking it one day at a time.  I am now going to finish cleaning the kitchen, wash my face, and head to the grocery store.  Maybe I will make some comfort food for dinner tonight. 

De

Cute Video!

Click Here if you want to see something too cute!! I've watched it a few times and laughed each and every time!!

Man I needed that!

De

New Favorite Song and Artist

I am in love with Matt Nathanson. I heard him on Kidd Kraddick yesterday and he is incredible. You can listen to him sing this song on the kPod - It is Matt Nathanson Live In Studio pt. 3 03/11/08.

Come On Get Higher

I miss the sound of your voice
And I miss the rush of your skin
And I miss the still of the silence
As you breathe out and I breathe in

If I could walk on water
If I could tell you what's next
I'd make you believe
I'd make you forget

So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

I miss the sound of your voice
Loudest thing in my head
And I ache to remember
All the violent, sweet
Perfect words that you said

If I could walk on water
If I could tell you what's next
I'd make you believe
I'd make you forget

So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in loveI

miss the pull of your heart
I taste the sparks on your tongue
I see angels and devils
And God, when you come on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on

Sing sha la la la
Sing sha la la la la

So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me, drown me in love

It's all wrong, it's all wrong
It's all wrong, it's so right
So come on, get higher
So come on and get higher
'Cause everything works, love
Everything works in your arms


De

My Messy Desk

This is my Messy Desk!  Told ya I was buried under paper!  I can still find most everything though - although there is a copy of one check that I know is on this desk somewhere that I need to find!

Pile of invoices that need to be coded and entered by Wednesday.

Checks that need to be copied and mailed out!

Receipts that need to be matched up to credit card statements!

De

Buried Under Paper!!

It's Tuesday and I am finally coming out of the brain fog I have been in since last week at this time. I can't believe it's only been a week since all of this started going down.

Changes with L since last week:

• She is keeping her bedroom door open
• She is calling me during her breaks at work just to talk
• She has been home at night
• She has been hanging with good friends
• We have not had any screaming, yelling, or door slamming since last Wednesday.

Knock on wood now!!

I still want my hour back though! Day 2 of working since the lost hour and yet again I have woken up late and ended up driving in to work. I get here by 9 - which is OK meaning I'm not "late" - I work through lunch and I can get off by 5. I prefer getting in before 8 and getting to leave by 4. Most everyone gets in between 830 and 900 so if I get here by 800 I get a 1/2 an hour of peaceful quiet before the day really kicks in. Also - gas has jumped to 3.60/gal so driving in to work is costing an arm and a leg not counting the $15/day to park. Definitely need to get back to riding on that bus. Step 1 - wake up on time.

I'm writing this blog on a break from work today - I found I didn't have much time to write last night so thought I would try to add a bit during a break here at work. Also - not exactly motivated to work today - I am not totally out of the brain fog! A little overwhelmed too - My desk is a disaster area. There are so many piles of paper - checks to be signed - receipts to be matched up - checks to be cut. So far though - when someone has come by looking for someone I have been able to put my hands on it. I think it just the huge piles that are overwhelming that my brain is shutting down. Have you ever had this happen? It is happening a bit at home too. I have boxes of papers and junk that need to be gone through. When it was just one box it wasn't so bad but now I have 4 - 5 boxes and just looking at them makes my brain stop and I have the urge to just shove them in the closet and move on to something else.

Maybe I should take a picture of each room - post it - and then post the after picture once I get it all straightened up. I can break it down to one room at a time. Only problem - when I have done that before everything tends to get moved to one room and then that one room is a disaster area!

Any helpful solutions would be appreciated.

Back to work -

De

I Want My Hour Back!

Oh man - I hate this time of year! Where's my hour!! Why can't we do the time change in the middle of the week so that a work day is an hour shorter and not a weekend day! LOL! It's like having jet lag - It takes me a long time - at least a week - to get back on track and not feel so tired. This year the losing of the hour came a lot sooner too. Yay - it will be lighter later but we are now back to dark mornings.

If I seem cranky its because of the lost hour and the fact that Muppet had a seizure this morning so it through off my sleeping. I also had some really weird dreams last night - Not sure why - I may be coming down with something because i always have weird dreams right before i get the flu or something.

L is out with her friend Megan right now. Megan is an 'A' friend which is great. L has been going in to more details about what happened - she had gone on a 5 day E binge. She has been coming down over the past 4 days - this included emotions - bad dreams - and not wanting to be alone I'm glad she got back in touch with Megan - someone to keep her company and keep her mind off doing drugs to make things easier.

I just got done watching all of the Jon and Kate plus 8 episodes I had recorded. I love that show! Now I am watching Tin Man on the SciFi Channel. If you have not seen this mini series I recommend you get the DVD that comes out on Tuesday. An updated version of the Wizard of Oz.

Have a great day -

De

Climbing Back Up

Wow - when I look back over this week it has been a wild ride - I can't believe that all of that was jammed in to one week! Today has been a level day - no big ups and no big downs - just a smooth day. L did call me from work and told me her nose was bleeding again so I made her an appointment with the doc for this afternoon - left work early to get her there. She is fine - doc said her nose was extremely irritated and she could see where she had been bleeding from. Prognosis is good - she just needs to moisturize with Vaseline and a q-tip! She told the doc that she was done with that stuff and doc told her that if she needed help working through it to call her and come in and talk. Very supportive and no lectures which I think is the way to go with L right now.

Tonight she has been talking on the phone with one of her "A" friends - Kelly - whom she had not been talking to since she got back in to the drugs. She has been keeping her bedroom door open and not worrying about me hearing what she is talking about - Major Improvement!!! I heard her say that it is such a relief to be able to talk openly about things and not have to whisper the word drugs in her room because she is done with that stuff so she's not worried about what I might say.

My Mom - Nana - called tonight - and after the conversation L said that Nana had asked about her stuffy nose and that there was no need to go into it with her because it is all worked out. She said - No reason to tell all to the grandparents because we were working it out. So - L is not aware that I am writing about all that has been going on in this blog - family / friends - please do not let her know that you know what has been going on. Give her the opportunity to bring it up with you - I believe she will once she has more confidence in herself that she is going to be able to kick the habit this time around.

Positive Step - She has been researching Adams College that has a very good Photography program and has applied on line for it. Downside - it is in Colorado so it would be out of state tuition. Cross that bridge when we get to it.

Positive step 2 - When you are on E your jaw clenches so you need to suck on a pacifier so you don't break your teeth. L just threw out her pacifiers!!! :)

A Small Step - she thanked me for getting her McDonald's for lunch after her doc appointment. I haven't heard Thank You from her in a very long time.

De

Crashing Down

Last night L came home around 11, woke me up to let me know she was home safe (which she hasn't done in quite awhile), and told me she needed to talk. She apologized for the way she had been acting and especially for everything that had gone on over the past 2 weeks - she said she was really sorry about how she had treated me and how things had started to get out of control. She said she needed to tell me something and wanted me to not get mad. She had gotten back into drugs again and things had started to really spiral out of control. She had been back into Ecstasy for over a month. She said she never wanted to do any of that stuff ever again. Her friend Kyle was kicked out of his house last night and I think the realization that parents actually do that and that being homeless because of your choices and actions was a real possibility helped her to come crashing back down to earth. We talked about how she is an addict and can't just smoke pot every couple weekends because eventually it won't be enough for her and she will move on to other things. She agreed and says she doesn't want to do any of that stuff ever again.

Today she called me during her break at work crying and telling me she just wanted to be at home and she was having a hard time. I didn't know about the side effects of Ecstasy - anxiety, paranoia, depression, sleep problems, loss of appetite, and dehydration. Did you know that it can take up to 3 days for a person to "come down" form Ecstasy and that these side effects can get increasingly worse over those days? Did you know that this drug burns little holes in your brain causing it to be unable to produce serotonin which is what causes the increased sadness? All new and scary to me. Another side effect she has been having are bloody noses due to the fact that her and her friends were snorting the Ecstasy. I will keep an eye on that and if it doesn't start to get better we will be taking a trip to the doctors office.

So far tonight she has been on a more even keel. I haven't been able to get her to eat though - side effect loss of appetite - because of the partying she did this past weekend she lost close to 10 pounds! Not good at all.

Goals for this weekend - continue to be here for her and let her talk things through and try to get some nutritional food in her.

I will continue to keep you posted. Keep us both in your thoughts as we work our way through this and hopefully come out on the other side stronger.

De

Not Sure What To Do

The last 24 hours have been rather stressful and I have been debating with myself as to whether to write about it or not. I have shared most everything else on this blog and maybe someone who reads this can give me some ideas or just some moral support.

Monday morning I got up and found that my daughter and her new friend, a 20 year old guy, were in her room. I asked her what was going on and she said they had been up all night talking and hadn't broken the rule of no member of the opposite sex sleeping in her room. I told her that I didn't like getting up on the morning to find a stranger in my house and that he needed to leave when she left for work. When I got home Monday night I found them both asleep in her room - yet again. I woke her up - which was tough in and of itself - and had her come out in to the living room so we could talk. She didn't want to talk but she finally came out. My first question was whether he had been here all day including when we were both at work. She said yes. I told her that will not happen again in my house as we do not leave strangers in our house when we are not home. She said he was not a stranger that he was her friend. I asked how long she had known him - 4 days!!!! We got in to a loud discussion about how she didn't really know him and I wanted him out of my house. She said he wasn't leaving so I told her I would ask him to leave. I headed down the hallway and she followed - getting in front of me and pushing me away from her room telling me I wasn't going to be mean to her friends. I made my way down and was in her doorway holding the door open with my back to the door and she got in my face and hit me in the stomach telling me to get out of her room and that no one was leaving.

This is what I debated about writing - part of me has a small understanding of how abused people feel and how they don't want to tell anyone because they think they just have done something to deserve this. Was I making a bigger thing out of this guy being in my house than I should, had I somehow done something to cause this escalation. etc... I am still having a hard time figuring this whole thing out.

I finally went back to her room and let them know that he needed to be out in 5 minutes or else I would be calling the police. He left and then shortly afterwards my daughter left. She ended up sleeping in his truck with him out in the parking lot.

This morning I knew that she would probably be coming in after I left for work and that he was probably going to be in here with her. I made it very clear yet again that he was not to be left in the house when no one was home. She called me on hr first break and was questioning me about when I was going to be home. As the day went on I started to have a weird feeling so I left work about 10 minutes early and instead of going straight to an appointment I had I went by the house to get my dog. Sure enough, when I walked in the house the guy was there by himself as my daughter was still at work. I told him he needed to leave and he walked right out. I left for my appointment - locking the door. I got a call about 545 from L wanting to know why I had locked her out. I told her I had locked the guy out and that she could wait for me to get home and I would let her in. She hung up on me and I have not heard from her since.

So - do I just go to bed and leave the door locked and hope she will call. Do I leave the door unlocked and hope she comes home and leaves the guy outside.

How do I make sure he is not here when no one is home? Do I make her leave at the same time I do for work and lock the door - telling her she will need to figure out something to do until she needs to be at work and I will let her in when I get home?

Has she chosen not to follow so many rules that I don't give her anymore chances and she definitely needs to make plans for when she turns 18?

I am just sick to my stomach and don't have any more answers.

If you have any ideas, words of wisdom, helpful stories, etc Please share.

De

Roller Coaster Week with a Teenager

I haven't written about L lately because things with her have been changing so fast that when I think about writing it is no longer applicable. Good Heavens it has been a ride. I think the easiest way to do this would be to list the day and write about the most significant issue of that day.

Saturday 2/23 - Once again I had no idea where she was on this day. She left to go hang with friends on Friday night - didn't check in - and didn't bother coming home. She was also to clean her bedroom and bathroom but a little hard to accomplish that when you don't show up at home. I went to game night at Lyd's got home around midnight - L showed up at home sometime early early Sunday morning.

Sunday 2/24 - This was my Pike Place Market day. L got up around 10 or so and proceeded to get an attitude with me because I had plans for this day and she wanted to go to Target. She phrased it as - The one day I want to spend with you and you are going out - hmmm Mom has a life - how surprising! I think she only wanted to spend time with my wallet - hoping I would buy her something at Target seeing as she has no money.

Monday - Wednesday - these days were fairly calm. I let her know that I expected her room and bathroom to be clean by the end of day Friday or else the rooms would become my weekend project. She said Not if she was home because I wasn't coming in to her room - of course this escalated into a discussion about how she's not paying rent so I could enter the room whenever I wanted. I then told her it won't be an issue if she gets them clean. She was in and out most of these days.

Thursday - When I got home the Internet wasn't working on my computer - the main box is in L's room so I went in there to try and reset and figure out what was going on. First thing - L had taken the Internet cord out of the wireless box and plugged it directly in to her computer. I started moving cords around when L came home from work. She went ballistic because I was in her room. I explained I was trying to fix the Internet - she said if I take the cord from her computer her Internet won't work - i told her it's not my problem she broke yet another computer and that she needed to keep the Internet connected to the wireless. Let's just say that things escalated from there. I gave her the rules for staying in the house once she turns 18 and she ended up leaving the house and going to her friend Jenny's. The major sticking point with her is that i want her to pay $200 rent. How is she supposed to pay that when she is only working 15 hours a week. Hmmmm - once again not my problem that she got fired and she needs to figure it out. She came home early Friday morning and was cleaning her room and bathroom when I left for work Friday morning.

Friday - I made sure I got home from work early enough to get my stuff and Muppet to go to Lyd's before L got home. She called me after I left and was driving to Lyd's. She was actually calm on the phone. She wanted to discuss the house rules - which to her means that she wants me to change my mind. She still didn't like the rent amount and she wanted to know why I made a rule that she couldn't have guys sleeping in her room. She said I was trying to have her be like my generation and I should let her be herself. OK - I sounded like my parents here in that I said - As long as you are living under my roof you will live by my rules. If you want to live by your own rules you need to move out. She need to make some compromises. Later in the evening she called me at Lyd's to ask me to order her a pizza - that's right - I said No and she said I never buy her anything and that she wasn't joking and didn't I think there was something wrong with that. I laughed and said good bye!

Saturday - She headed out to a friends house about 3. She had cleaned her room and bathroom. She called and checked in a couple times during the night. Wow! Things were looking up.

Today - No calls form L. I had no idea where she was and her phone was off. She came waltzing in tonight around 6:00pm. When I made a comment about her not checking in she said her hone had died. I said - No one else had a phone and she responded with she wasn't thinking about that and it wasn't a big deal. She is now in her room.

I think we came full circle as this is the way things were last Sunday. So lets recap! Moody Teen - Angry Teen - Ready to Talk Teen - Co-operative Teen - Snotty Teen. Stop! I want to get off this crazy ride!!

In case you're keeping track along with me - 69 days until she turns 18!

De

It's 5:00 am!!

Yes it is 5am and I am on the computer and writing my blog. No - I did not wake up extremely early on a Saturday - I haven't gone to bed yet! I can't remember the last time I was up for 24 hours straight! I used to do this with no problem when I was in college but I have a feeling I am going to be paying for this the rest of the weekend.

I went to Lyd's house tonight for dinner and another round of Rummikub with Lyd, her Mom, and Hillary! We started a little before 8pm and I left her house to come home at 4am! That's right - 8 hours playing a game! When I left tonight L asked me what time I was going to be home. I don't know. L - Could you be home at 3 or 4 in the morning? I said - Good Heavens we won't be playing games for that long! We had so much fun and the time went by so fast. I got the hang of it and won 3 out of 5 games. Hillary won the other 2! Lyd made 2 wonderful sweet treat to eat too. She made a Lemon Tart and a Smores dessert. Both of them were so good!

I took some pictures but will post those a little later today. Right now I am going to try and get a little shut eye. Although - which do you think would be better - just staying up and going to bed early tonight or getting some sleep right now and possibly being up late tonight. Hmmm......... My mushy brain is telling me to get some sleep right now!

See ya on the flip side :P

De