Monday morning I got up and found that my daughter and her new friend, a 20 year old guy, were in her room. I asked her what was going on and she said they had been up all night talking and hadn't broken the rule of no member of the opposite sex sleeping in her room. I told her that I didn't like getting up on the morning to find a stranger in my house and that he needed to leave when she left for work. When I got home Monday night I found them both asleep in her room - yet again. I woke her up - which was tough in and of itself - and had her come out in to the living room so we could talk. She didn't want to talk but she finally came out. My first question was whether he had been here all day including when we were both at work. She said yes. I told her that will not happen again in my house as we do not leave strangers in our house when we are not home. She said he was not a stranger that he was her friend. I asked how long she had known him - 4 days!!!! We got in to a loud discussion about how she didn't really know him and I wanted him out of my house. She said he wasn't leaving so I told her I would ask him to leave. I headed down the hallway and she followed - getting in front of me and pushing me away from her room telling me I wasn't going to be mean to her friends. I made my way down and was in her doorway holding the door open with my back to the door and she got in my face and hit me in the stomach telling me to get out of her room and that no one was leaving.
This is what I debated about writing - part of me has a small understanding of how abused people feel and how they don't want to tell anyone because they think they just have done something to deserve this. Was I making a bigger thing out of this guy being in my house than I should, had I somehow done something to cause this escalation. etc... I am still having a hard time figuring this whole thing out.
I finally went back to her room and let them know that he needed to be out in 5 minutes or else I would be calling the police. He left and then shortly afterwards my daughter left. She ended up sleeping in his truck with him out in the parking lot.
This morning I knew that she would probably be coming in after I left for work and that he was probably going to be in here with her. I made it very clear yet again that he was not to be left in the house when no one was home. She called me on hr first break and was questioning me about when I was going to be home. As the day went on I started to have a weird feeling so I left work about 10 minutes early and instead of going straight to an appointment I had I went by the house to get my dog. Sure enough, when I walked in the house the guy was there by himself as my daughter was still at work. I told him he needed to leave and he walked right out. I left for my appointment - locking the door. I got a call about 545 from L wanting to know why I had locked her out. I told her I had locked the guy out and that she could wait for me to get home and I would let her in. She hung up on me and I have not heard from her since.
So - do I just go to bed and leave the door locked and hope she will call. Do I leave the door unlocked and hope she comes home and leaves the guy outside.
How do I make sure he is not here when no one is home? Do I make her leave at the same time I do for work and lock the door - telling her she will need to figure out something to do until she needs to be at work and I will let her in when I get home?
Has she chosen not to follow so many rules that I don't give her anymore chances and she definitely needs to make plans for when she turns 18?
I am just sick to my stomach and don't have any more answers.
If you have any ideas, words of wisdom, helpful stories, etc Please share.
De
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