Here's how it went down:
L - What do you want me to say. Leaving that note was just messed up. Who leaves something like that on a door.
Me - What did you think was going to happen when you broke the one rule that was left in this house.
L - It's not like I was thinking - oh let me break this rule - when I lit up. I just needed to relax after work.
Me - The consequence is that you need to be out of the house. I won't have you doing this in my house.
L - FINE I'LL JUST GO LIVE ON THE STREETS. YOU'RE MESSED UP - YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR OWN DAUGHTER. YOU'VE NEVER CARED ABOUT ME. YOU CARE MORE FOR THAT DOG THAN YOU DO ME.
***Slamming of fists into the laundry closet door ***
L - IF YOU WEREN'T MY MOM I WOULD KILL YOU RIGHT NOW.
I pulled out my phone to call the police because she threatened me. She started crying no no no. I told her to get a hold of herself. She flipped out again - I started dialing on the phone and she came over - grabbed my arm and ripped the cell phone out of my hand and wouldn't give it back.
She then started bargaining with how she would change - she didn't want to leave the house - she's not ready to move out. Couldn't I just give her another chance? What if she got everything cleaned up and showed over the next couple weeks that she wanted to stay here and follow the rules.
Me - I'm not making any agreements.
L - Then I'm not cleaning my shit up.
Me - Great - so you won't do anything around this house unless you're going to get something out of it. What is it that I get out of this arrangement.
L - LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE GETTING EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT - YOU HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET ME OUT OF THIS HOUSE. WHAT KIND OF MOM KICKS THEIR OWN CHILD OUT OF THE HOUSE. YOUR MOM WOULD NEVER HAVE DONE THIS.
Me - If I had been doing drugs in Nana's House I would have been kicked out and not even given three weeks to find another place.
At this point I told her that she needed to just leave and go to her friends house because this conversation was going nowhere. I also told her that if/when she smoked in her room again I wouldn't be knocking on her door I would just call the police to come and get her.
L - What is it with you and calling the cops. I told you I would never hit you. What would the cops do anyway - they can't do anything because I didn't touch you.
Me - I told her that they would come because I felt threatened.
This was pretty much the end of the conversation - she left to go to her friends house. There was a lot said but I pretty much hit the highlights above.
I feel like I am in an abusive relationship that I am never going to get out of. She is never going to leave.
De
2 comments:
It's time for L to leave the nest...change the locks on November 1st.
I have to agree 100% with Tony on this one. Box up her stuff, leave it on the porch and change the locks. She says she'd never hit you, but she does want to kill you, and she's already forcibly removed items in your possession. She is not that far away from crossing that line in making things physical. You can't reason with a person on drugs. Their thought processes don't work like a normal person's, that's what the drugs do. Not even she can control what she says and does when she's high. And by the way, you are not forcing her to live in the streets, you're forcing her to not live in your house. It's her choice where she goes from there. Be strong. You can do it. You have to do it.
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