- Sharks aren't bad guys. If some stranger entered my house in just a Speedo, I would probably attack them too!
- Some people are like clouds . . . . When they disappear its a brighter day!
- Spring really needs to stop impersonating Winter
- When Vegetarians get nervous are they allowed to have Butterflies in their stomach
- Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics
- I need to stop saying "How Stupid Can You Be?" I think people are taking it as a challenge!
- I have a button on my microwave that says "stop time". I assume it means the timer but I don't touch it just in case.
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