ME!!! Thank you , Thank you , so much! It was such an honor to be in this category with all the other nominees - Octomom, Kate Gosselin, Joan Crawford, and The Old Woman in the Shoe! They all have brought honor to this title! But I feel I have worked especially hard this past year to earn this award. It's been tough going - there have been moments of niceness and understanding over the past few months - but I am overcoming that weakness!
L called me tonight in tears - sobbing her heart out - saying that Justin had hit her. Now - seeing as she had used this one a couple weeks ago and was able to play on my niceness and get into the house for the weekend I was a little skeptical about what was going on. I heard her side of the story and then I asked her to put Justin on the phone and I got his side of the story. Basically - it was more brother sister squabble than domestic abuse. While I had Justin on the phone we had a chance to talk about what's been going on with them. Pretty much - he is in the same place I am. He doesn't trust her - he's tired of the lying - he's tired of the drugs - just wants her out of his house. I asked him if he knew why she was asked to leave the last time and he said he knew about the stolen credit card. He said that was one of the things she lied about - she actually had him use my card to make some purchases - she told him that I let her borrow my card all the time and that it was no big deal. Then he decided it was time to give me some information that he had been holding on to - said he had kept it to himself and had used it to try and keep L under control by telling her that she was going to let either myself or her Dad know what was really going on. Per Justin - L had gotten in to IV Drug use - heroin. She was using it with Jessica - the gal that got her the job at Mongolian Grill and one of the many guys she knows. He said that she had been having sex with guys when she got high - even though she was in a relationship with him. He said he has seen track marks on her. He doesn't know if she's still doing the drugs or not. According to him, Amber told L she had to leave the apartment because Amber found needles in some of her stuff.
I got L back on the phone - she turned on the waterworks again - wanted to know what time I was going to work in the morning - could she just stay with me tonight. She doesn't want to be in this situation anymore - she is going to stop doing all that stuff (don't think she heard Justin telling about the Heroin) - wants to get things back on track - she has a job interview on Friday. I said . . . . . . . NO! She asked why - I told her I didn't need to tell her why I just had to give her an answer and it was NO! She asked why I was sounding mad at her - told her I was just frustrated with the whole situation and that I felt she should be working on trying to find a place to stay instead of talking with me because there really wasn't anything more I could do for her. She said fine - I won't ever call you again when there's something wrong - I'll never talk to you - I'll never bother you again . . . . . . . and then the hang up!
This is what made me the winner tonight!!! I would like to thank L for giving me so many opportunities to show just how mean I can be and for all the practice over the last year in saying NO! Over the past few months it has just gotten so much easier to stand my ground. I couldn't have done it without her.
Again - Thank you very much and God Bless!
De
*****L called around 11 pm and confirmed the Heroin usage last night******
2 comments:
Very disheartening to hear this. Unfortunately not all that surprising, but definitely disheartening. Sadly not even her friends are getting through to her anymore. No telling now how long or how far she'll have to fall, leaving you by the wayside to watch it all. I thought perhaps the worst was behind you, but now I think it may be yet to come. This will be very difficult, as if it hasn't already been. You're doing great though sticking to your guns. Congrats on the award.
I have a little experience with narcotics and you should find out how often she's doing heroin. If it's a lot, then you should look at it like you're not dealing with HER anymore, you're dealing with the drug. When you talk to her, she's not there. You're talking to the drug. The drug will make her do or say anything to get more of it.
Research a good inpatient rehab clinic and line up finances, etc. now. Your insurance may cover it. If she calls you in desparation again, then tell her you love her and tell her you want to help. Then offer her the way out--Not your home, but rehab. She has to go immediately to it, not your house. She goes that night.
Since she seems to be the right age, as part of the deal tell her that immediately after rehab she has a choice-Army, Navy, AirForce, Marines. Sign her up during the rehab process so She doesn't get to back out later. Three years in the military will really make this stick. Her drug use may require a waiver for her to enlist but they may be willing to do that these days. Talk to a recruiter
If you don't do this now, she's going to get even more depressed, desperate, abused, and pregnant.
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