Can't sleep. My mind won't shut off - stressed out because L hasn't said anything about a new place to live and she has to move out of her friends place this week because the lease us up. I just have this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I'm going to be getting the tearful phone call about how she has nowhere to go. Even though she's known for about 6 weeks that she had to find a place. I just so can't go through this right now.
I already got a glimpse of how it will go - she called me yesterday afternoon from the Folklife Festival because her camera was stolen - yes the one I got her for Christmas. She sat it on the ground and - according to her - just left it for a few seconds! Why would you walk away from something so valuable!! Of course someone is going to walk away with it. She was all full of tears when she called me - but they suddenly dried up when I didn't respond with "Oh honey I'm so sorry. Let me replace it for you." I haven't heard from her since.
Now if I can just hold my ground if the call comes looking for a place to stay. My stomach is going to be in knots all week.
De
Monday, May 28, 2012
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Tired. Frustrated. Unhappy. Depressed.
This describes how I have felt for the last week or so - I just can't seem to snap out of it. I've tried - I baked last night because that usually works - and it did for awhile. I made brownie peanut butter cups and brought them to work to share. But the frustration and everything else crept in throughout the day so I am back to where I was.
I feel the need for a change of scenery - maybe a whole new life to just start over. The voices in my head have been saying Texas - but then my gut feels sick when I think of everything that would need to get done in order to just pack up and move. I'm not one who deals well with sudden change. Also - what happens if that doesn't work.
I have more to say but the heaviness in my head is making it hard to concentrate - I'm going to go crawl under the covers - hope tomorrow brings something better.
De
I feel the need for a change of scenery - maybe a whole new life to just start over. The voices in my head have been saying Texas - but then my gut feels sick when I think of everything that would need to get done in order to just pack up and move. I'm not one who deals well with sudden change. Also - what happens if that doesn't work.
I have more to say but the heaviness in my head is making it hard to concentrate - I'm going to go crawl under the covers - hope tomorrow brings something better.
De
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Ugh!!
I know things can always be worse . . . . . . . there are people out there who have it worse . . . . . . . . . But My Life SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you ever had a dream - something that you really wanted - something that was the light at the end of the tunnel - the carrot on the stick. Then it is suddenly gone - and not just gone but actually you gave it away to a friend! So now your life still sucks - you have no light - no carrot - and once again everything goes fabulously for someone else and you had a hand in it. When will it be my turn! When will I get the prize!
I am going to go hide under my covers.
De
Have you ever had a dream - something that you really wanted - something that was the light at the end of the tunnel - the carrot on the stick. Then it is suddenly gone - and not just gone but actually you gave it away to a friend! So now your life still sucks - you have no light - no carrot - and once again everything goes fabulously for someone else and you had a hand in it. When will it be my turn! When will I get the prize!
I am going to go hide under my covers.
De
Sunday, May 13, 2012
As If I Needed To Be Reminded
This weekend has been just dandy . . . . . . . God decided that for some reason I needed to be reminded what it's like to be L's Mom - as if!!
Started out with L staying the night on Thursday seeing as we were doing things together Friday for her birthday. Typical - had no idea when she was going to be here - She got a tiny bit defensive when I texted her to see what the plans were. When she got here she was her normal loud self!!
Friday - the plan was to run to the DOL to renew her ID, go to a movie, then lunch. We got a later start than I thought we would because one of L's friends came by and they went out for a birthday "bowl" - we got to the DOL around 11:30 - which of course is never a quick errand. We got to the movies just in time for the 12:45 show - we saw The Avengers which was a really good movie - also a very long one. We got out at 3:25. L started to get agitated because she wanted to get to her friends house to start getting ready for her birthday bar hop. I said that was fine - it was OK that we skipped lunch - for her to just tell me what the plan was. She started texting on her phone so I stopped walking - waiting for her to tell me if we were going to eat or head to her friends. She then turns to me and says - Can we get going and not just stand here. I told her I was waiting for her to tell me what the plan was - she got bitchy - said we had to go to the car either way - I replied No - that if we were going to eat we didn't need to go to the car yet. She said - No time to eat. OK - we headed to the car. She then got pissy because her phone lost signal in the parking garage. We finally got a hold of her friend - picked her up from work - I dropped them off at her friend's house in Kirkland. When we had left my place L left her work clothes there and said she would come by sometime on Saturday to get them as she had work on Sunday.
Saturday - no word from L - phone turned off. I sent a text to her friend and got a reply a few hours later that L was with her and would call me soon, once her phone was charged. She called me around 8:30pm and said she was heading into Seattle to meet up with a friend because she had left her wallet in their car Friday night. She then wanted to know what time I was heading to bed because she was going to catch the last 554 to the highlands and wanted me to pick her up - oh, this last bus was at 11:30pm!! I said No - not that late. She then said she would call me back - which she did - told me she was hanging out in Seattle with friends until the bars closed and would just take a taxi to my place.
Sunday - L waked me up at 5:30 am when she got home to let me know that it wasn't just her - it was also her friends Jen and Andrew - gave me a story about the person that gave them a ride up here lit up heroin in the car and she didn't want them to ride with him. Said they were just hanging for a bit and trying to figure out how they were going to get home - would probably catch a taxi. She would wake me up around 9:45 am so I could driver her to work. 9:30 rolls around - I wake up - get dressed - go out to the living room - nobody is there - just back packs and phones - no people. I get Chrissy ready to go outside - that's when I see a note on the door that says she's not going to work today - needs to catch up on her sleep - just ran to QFC and would be right back. I go to QFC because I need milk - no sign of her there or on the way back. She finally shows up around 2:30 - same friends in tow. They crash in the living room - drinking beer - sleeping - go out to smoke. I feel like a prisoner in my bedroom because they have taken over the living area. Every time I ask L when they are leaving I can't get a straight answer. Finally she comes to me at 5:15 to see if I can drive them to the Iss Transit Center to catch a bus.
This whole weekend was a series of deja vus!! I have been through this before with her. Now she is crashed on my couch - wants me to wake her up in the morning to get ready for work - wants me to drive her there. So much for my nice 4-Day weekend.
De
Started out with L staying the night on Thursday seeing as we were doing things together Friday for her birthday. Typical - had no idea when she was going to be here - She got a tiny bit defensive when I texted her to see what the plans were. When she got here she was her normal loud self!!
Friday - the plan was to run to the DOL to renew her ID, go to a movie, then lunch. We got a later start than I thought we would because one of L's friends came by and they went out for a birthday "bowl" - we got to the DOL around 11:30 - which of course is never a quick errand. We got to the movies just in time for the 12:45 show - we saw The Avengers which was a really good movie - also a very long one. We got out at 3:25. L started to get agitated because she wanted to get to her friends house to start getting ready for her birthday bar hop. I said that was fine - it was OK that we skipped lunch - for her to just tell me what the plan was. She started texting on her phone so I stopped walking - waiting for her to tell me if we were going to eat or head to her friends. She then turns to me and says - Can we get going and not just stand here. I told her I was waiting for her to tell me what the plan was - she got bitchy - said we had to go to the car either way - I replied No - that if we were going to eat we didn't need to go to the car yet. She said - No time to eat. OK - we headed to the car. She then got pissy because her phone lost signal in the parking garage. We finally got a hold of her friend - picked her up from work - I dropped them off at her friend's house in Kirkland. When we had left my place L left her work clothes there and said she would come by sometime on Saturday to get them as she had work on Sunday.
Saturday - no word from L - phone turned off. I sent a text to her friend and got a reply a few hours later that L was with her and would call me soon, once her phone was charged. She called me around 8:30pm and said she was heading into Seattle to meet up with a friend because she had left her wallet in their car Friday night. She then wanted to know what time I was heading to bed because she was going to catch the last 554 to the highlands and wanted me to pick her up - oh, this last bus was at 11:30pm!! I said No - not that late. She then said she would call me back - which she did - told me she was hanging out in Seattle with friends until the bars closed and would just take a taxi to my place.
Sunday - L waked me up at 5:30 am when she got home to let me know that it wasn't just her - it was also her friends Jen and Andrew - gave me a story about the person that gave them a ride up here lit up heroin in the car and she didn't want them to ride with him. Said they were just hanging for a bit and trying to figure out how they were going to get home - would probably catch a taxi. She would wake me up around 9:45 am so I could driver her to work. 9:30 rolls around - I wake up - get dressed - go out to the living room - nobody is there - just back packs and phones - no people. I get Chrissy ready to go outside - that's when I see a note on the door that says she's not going to work today - needs to catch up on her sleep - just ran to QFC and would be right back. I go to QFC because I need milk - no sign of her there or on the way back. She finally shows up around 2:30 - same friends in tow. They crash in the living room - drinking beer - sleeping - go out to smoke. I feel like a prisoner in my bedroom because they have taken over the living area. Every time I ask L when they are leaving I can't get a straight answer. Finally she comes to me at 5:15 to see if I can drive them to the Iss Transit Center to catch a bus.
This whole weekend was a series of deja vus!! I have been through this before with her. Now she is crashed on my couch - wants me to wake her up in the morning to get ready for work - wants me to drive her there. So much for my nice 4-Day weekend.
De
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Late Late Late
Late night - left work at 6 to go pick up L - I needed to take her to urgent care. This cough she's had was getting worse instead of better - turns out she had bronchitis! So it was then off to Walgreen's for prescriptions. Usually Walgreens is really nice - quick, friendly, inexpensive. So did not happen that way today.
I noticed today that when I go to get on I90 using the metered on ramps I look at the number of cars in each lane - make my choice - then look at the other lane to find which car is in the place I would have been - then I watch to see if I made the right decision. If they get through the lights before me I count how many seconds I would have gained if I chose the other lane! Does That Make Me Crazy!!
De
- wait in line for 15 minutes just to find out if the prescriptions had been called in and to give them L's insurance card
- walk away only to hear them page L to come back to the pharmacy
- They were out of one of the ingredients needed to mix up one of the medicines. Did we want them to forward it to another pharmacy or call the Dr to get a change. We chose to have them call.
- Wait for 10 minutes to find out if that worked. It did and they said everything should be ready in 20 min.
- Head to Target to do some quick shopping while Walgreen's gets prescriptions ready
- Spent an hour in Target waiting for L to pick out and try on the dress she wanted to get for her birthday - she did pick out a really cute one! Leopard print with matching shoes
- Head to the Drive Thru at Walgreen's
- Wait 15 minutes while they help the car in front of us - then finally it's our turn!
- Guy asks if L has insurance and we told him yes and that we had already provided all that information when we dropped off the prescriptions. Didn't matter he wanted to see the card again.
- Wait 5 minutes while he types around on the computer - finally tells me the price of the antibiotic - $5 then tells me that the inhaler will be $42 and did I still want to pay for that. Oh gee - No, I'll just let L suffer!! Of course I'm going to pay for that. He then starts ringing it up and I tell him that there should be 3 prescriptions. Oh - let me look.
- Wait another 5 minutes - he comes back and says they are going to mix that up and it will be a few minutes while they get it ready. I said "What?!? We dropped it off over an hour ago." Well that prescription is going to be $32 and they didn't want to mix it until they were assured that I was going to pay for it!!! He then asked if we wanted to come inside and wait. Uh No - we will stay right here in our car.
- Finally after 10 minutes he gets the total for me - I turn over my credit card - kaching kaching $$$$
- Now it's off to drive L to the p[lace she is staying in Redmond and then drive back home.
I noticed today that when I go to get on I90 using the metered on ramps I look at the number of cars in each lane - make my choice - then look at the other lane to find which car is in the place I would have been - then I watch to see if I made the right decision. If they get through the lights before me I count how many seconds I would have gained if I chose the other lane! Does That Make Me Crazy!!
De
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