It's The Weekend . . . . . . . Almost

The weekend is almost here and so far it looks to be a little less hectic than last weekend.  Last weekend I was the driver for transporting L's belongings to my storage unit.  She had to move out of the house she'd been living in.  Seems that not only has the Rent Collector been harassing L and trying to get her to move out - the person that the rent money goes to hasn't been paying the bills. Not sure exactly how the whole rental thing works with this house - Jonathon collects the money and gives it to Tom who is supposed to pay the bills as well as pay whoever owns the house.  There hasn't been Internet for a couple months, the cables been out for longer than that, no hot water for at least 2 weeks, a notice from PSE for non payment was on the door as well as a notice from the owners of the house telling everyone they had 3 Days to pack their stuff and get out.

Luckily L had already decided she was moving out because of the harassment from Jonathon and the fact that a week ago Monday she came back to her house only to find that someone had removed the door to her room!  She's not behind on rent so this was just another thing to piss her off to make her move.

Her and K came up with the plan to move her stuff into my storage and for L to move in with K until they find a place to move into together.  I was very proud of her - not once did the question of whether she could live with me come up!  My baby is becoming more and more of an adult each day. 

So last weekend I drove the car full of stuff and L moved it out of her place and into the storage unit.

My plans for this weekend do include baking!!  I got some mini bundt pans and my plan is to make little cakes for a co-workers birthday on Monday.  I will try to take pics as I make them and post everything as a step by step blog!

Saw this on FB today and it just seemed to fit my life:

De

WTH

I thought you were supposed to feel better after a therapy appointment - not so today!  I went in there actually feeling pretty good - good mood - not much stress and left there feeling worthless - hopeless - crying - and the voices in my head wide awake!

Started out with Lisa making a comment about how she hates the weather here - doesn't like how we have no spring - wants to move away - how do people stay here.  I said well I've been here my whole life and she responded with How's that going for you!  It pretty much went downhill from there.

We started out talking about something that she couldn't understand why I was OK with it and not mad - she kept bringing up things like she was hoping I would get mad - but this thing honestly doesn't have me upset - I just accepted it because it's pretty much how my life goes - I've learned not to be surprised when things don't go my way.

Somehow we got on the topic of avoiding conflict and not being able to say No - she asked why I couldn't say No.  I don't want to upset anyone and I worry what people will think about me if I say No.  She asked - What would people think about you - what could they find out. This moved on to the topic of me not being able to find someone to date - she said well you need to put time into it - this just pissed me off because I have tried - I've been on dating sights - I've gone on blind dates.  I told her - well kind of yelled at her - not to say I've not put any time into this over the past 18 years - I have done things and nothing works.  I haven't met anyone which just makes me feel bad about myself - the conversation then turns to was I like this when I was younger - uh No!  I had lots of friends when I was growing up.  The turning point was the divorce - I joke around often saying that I lost my friends in the divorce - but it is a reality.  I lost my whole social circle. 

This seems to continue to happen - I have friends and then something happens - either a change of jobs, a change in marital status, having kids, etc . . . . and when that happens I get left behind.  When that keeps happening you start to doubt yourself and wonder what's wrong with you . . . I mean . . . I'm not stupid - I know that the common denominator in all of this is me.  I just don't know why - why don't I ever get chosen - why aren't I the one people stay with - what is so unlikeable about me.

So here I am - from good mood to depressed mood in 45 minutes and $160!  The voices in my head are awake - replaying my life over and over - all the what ifs - all the things I could have done different. 

De

Hi :)

Hi Readers - I have not fallen off the face of the earth - I have just been lazy!!  Here are a few things that have happened:

Chrissy - she seems to be recovering nicely from her dog bite injuries.  She saw the vet a couple weeks ago - her hip area was still swollen so I had to keep her still for a week!  Any of you that have followed me know that Chrissy is the most active and jumping dog I have ever seen - it was not an easy task to keep her still - I must have done a good job because her exam last week showed things were getting better and no x-rays were needed!  She has to go back tomorrow for her vaccines - she gets to stay for a few hours because she has had adverse reactions to one of the shots previously.  I feel like a Mom whose child is going somewhere for the day - There is so much I can try and get done without her following me around the house!!

I mailed a certified letter to the other dog owner last week.  She has yet to pick it up from the Post Office.  I guess my next step is going to be to take her to small claims court.  Darn it - why couldn't this be civil!!  No information on the Animal Control Case - they must have processed something though because I got a letter today in the mail informing me that their records do not show Chrissy being a licensed pet and I have 72 hours to comply!  Great!!

L - there have been a few incidents with her but nothing major - mostly her just yelling at me because she's not getting her way.  A few weeks back a the Monday after Chrissy got hurt - L called me because she had left her wallet in my car so she had no bus money - she was at her friend K's house in Redmond.  I drove there to pick her up and drop her off at the Eastgate Park and Ride so she could get to work.  Well - she had a lot of stuff in her back pack - it was heavy - her back and neck hurt.  When I dropped her off she slammed the door!  I asked her if that was because I wouldn't double back to Issaquah and take her to work - yup.  I said I had to get to work too and couldn't do it.  She slammed the door again and at the top of her lungs yelled F*** You in the middle of the parking lot.  No good deed goes unpunished.  Seems that most of our issues come up when I won't drive her somewhere or give her money.  She needs to find someone rich who can give her money and a driver!!

Church - this could be it's own post because there is a lot of stuff going around in my mind.  I will say one thing tonight and then write more later.  I can kinda understand why some people might consider it a cult - not because of their beliefs but because of how hard they work to get you back to church when you haven't been there in awhile.  They just won't let you be.  More to come later.

De