Unable To Let It Go

It has been 2 weeks since I either saw or heard from L - I should be enjoying the peace and quiet but I am feeling a little stressed out.

It is peaceful because usually when I hear from her it is because she wants something from me. She never just calls to chat - it is always give me this - and then a hang up when the answer is no. I haven't gotten one of those for 2 weeks so you would think I could just enjoy it - nope - the Mom in me is stressed because I don't know if she is OK. I should just think - No News is Good News - I'm sure I would have heard if there is anything wrong. I am just not used to this quiet yet. I know I have done the right thing in having her be on her own - there is still just a small part of the Mom in me that wants to be in control and know what's going on with her every minute. How do I quiet this little voice? How do I fight the urge to call around to her friends to make sure she is OK? At what point can I just be an "empty nester" and not worry?

I was actually doing OK until I got a message on my home voicemail last week. This was an automated reminder for L to remind her that she has a court date 7/14 at 10:15 am in Redmond - this is for a ticket she got quite a few months ago - she requested a court date so she could argue that she shouldn't have gotten a ticket and that she needs to make payment arrangements because she can't afford the ticket - the recording reminded her that if she fails to show up that it can be turned over to collections and to the local police - her license could be revoked and a warrant could go out for her arrest. I fell back in to old patterns and stressed out - if I didn't contact her and let her know about the reminder and she doesn't show for the appointment then it will be my fault. I keep telling myself that she got the paper in the mail letting her know the date and time and that it's not up to me to make sure she gets there. But I know her - I am sure she doesn't remember - I am sure she won't show up. I did send a text message to a phone number that I believe belongs to Justin - not sure if it was his cell number and not sure if they are still together. I didn't get a reply back. Years of feeling responsible for everything she did - every choice she made - every appointment or assignment she forgot are making it hard to let this one go.

I hope this gets easier!

De