Wow . . . . I'm not even sure what to title this post or to even explain what I am feeling in my head right now. Today I found out what it feels like to be part of a group that some people have such strong feelings of suspicion and hatred towards.
While on FB today I chose to like a group - I liked Mormon.org. I would guess that about less than an hour later I got an IM on FB from someone I knew in high school wanting to know when I had become Mormon. Before I even had a chance to respond to the IM I received this private message in FB from this person -
D, they came at a time when you were at your weakest. Not to save you, but to capitalize on that weakness. The Mormon church is a cult. You are being drawn away from God, not toward Him. Please talk to a Lutheran pastor about this before it's too late. PLEASE.
I responded to this person via IM - not accusatory or wanting to know why they were so hateful - I asked why they thought it was a cult and what was their definition of a cult? No response to my question - just more about how I am weak - I explained that this was not a rash decision that I had been looking in to this for awhile now.
His response - What has happened to you? How could you grow up in the Lutheran Church and make this decision?
My response - Where was all this concern when I was alone with a young child, no friends, trying to find my place? I have looked around and the Mormon church offers what I am looking for and it's right for me?
His Response - It's not right for you - they are making you think it's what you want but God provides everything you need.
My Response - So I don't need community, friendship, acceptance?
Yeah - it pretty much went downhill from there. I am all for everyone having their own beliefs but I am not for people thinking that their way is the only way. It also really upset me that this person who has not spoken with me or been around me for over 18 years feels like he knows more about me than I know about myself - thinking that I am weak and being preyed upon in my "weakest" moment. If he knew anything about me he would know that I am not at my "weakest" moment and that the Mormons did not seek me out - I looked for them. If they were preying on me why weren't they knocking on my door back in March the week that L was going through a major decision and my Little Miss Muppet passed away - that was one of my weakest moments.
It really really bothered me today - didn't make me doubt my decision - made me feel sorry for this person because they have such hatred about something they know nothing about. I just don't understand that way of thinking.
De
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
On A Journey
Heyyyy . . . . . . I've been busy in the evenings so I haven't been writing . . . . . . bad me . What have I been doing instead of writing - well . . . . . .I have been meeting with the Mormon Missionaries two nights a week going over my homework assignments. I have been reading chapters from the Book of Mormon and learning more about the beliefs and spiritual guidance. Friday we went over Plan of Salvation. I have found comfort in my meetings with them - but also having feelings of anxiety about whether this is the right direction for me. It is a major decision.
Friday they asked me whether I was ready to attend church. I was very tentative and told them I would need to think about it - which I did - all day Saturday and during the night. I woke up at 8 this morning - church wasn't until 1 - I took this as a sign - went to church.
It wasn't at all what I expected - and I'm not sure really what I was expecting - maybe more ceremonial like a Catholic Service. There were some hymns - prayers - people from the ward spoke - sacrament blessing - and that was pretty much it. One thing that surprised me was the number of young children that were at the service - walking all over - talking - crying - and it didn't seem to bother anyone. After the service it was time for Sunday School - and then the Men and Women went to separate meetings. In all it was 3 hours - although it didn't feel like it - it went rather quickly.
Everyone was very nice and welcoming. I left with such a feeling of joy in my chest - I honestly am starting to believe that this is the right choice for me.
De
Friday they asked me whether I was ready to attend church. I was very tentative and told them I would need to think about it - which I did - all day Saturday and during the night. I woke up at 8 this morning - church wasn't until 1 - I took this as a sign - went to church.
It wasn't at all what I expected - and I'm not sure really what I was expecting - maybe more ceremonial like a Catholic Service. There were some hymns - prayers - people from the ward spoke - sacrament blessing - and that was pretty much it. One thing that surprised me was the number of young children that were at the service - walking all over - talking - crying - and it didn't seem to bother anyone. After the service it was time for Sunday School - and then the Men and Women went to separate meetings. In all it was 3 hours - although it didn't feel like it - it went rather quickly.
Everyone was very nice and welcoming. I left with such a feeling of joy in my chest - I honestly am starting to believe that this is the right choice for me.
De
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Jinx
OK - Which one of you did it - huh huh - you know who you are - just admit it . . . . Which one of you was thinking or said "Hmm . . now that L has moved out of De's house there isn't as much drama for her to write about!" Quit Jinxing Me!!! What drama you may be asking yourself . . . . . Well . . . . .
It all happened yesterday afternoon. I had a Dr Appt at 2:00 in Issaquah so I went home afterwards instead of heading back over the bridge. Got home and took Chrissy out for a walk and to go check the mail - I guess it was a bit after 300 - we heard the bells from the Elementary School signaling it was time for them to head home. I walked back towards my building - rounded the corner - and there - parked right in front of my building . . . . . King County Sheriff car!!! Now - most people would think that something must be going on with one of their neighbors. I on the other hand immediately wonder what did I do or what did L do! My experiences have proven me correct on many occasions and this time was no exception! The Deputy got out of the car while I was walking back with Chrissy and disappeared - I wasn't sure which stack of stairs he had gone up - until I headed up mine. There - standing at the top of the stairs - in front of my door - King County Sheriff Deputy. The whole situation only lasted several minutes but it freaked me out so I'm not sure I remember everything that was said . . . . . .
He then said that he needed to talk to her and show her some photos. He asked if she would be coming by here anytime soon. He left it by giving me his number and name to give to her and have her call him. I gave her the number but I don't think she's called him. The whole thing just creeped me out. Does he really just need to talk to her about something or is he coming after her because of the warrant that she has due to not showing up for her DUI court date. If she meets with him is she going to be arrested? She's just finally getting things together . . . . . . but it looks like some of her mistakes are possibly catching up with her.
So . . . . whoever it was . . . . . Quit Jinxing Me!!!
De
It all happened yesterday afternoon. I had a Dr Appt at 2:00 in Issaquah so I went home afterwards instead of heading back over the bridge. Got home and took Chrissy out for a walk and to go check the mail - I guess it was a bit after 300 - we heard the bells from the Elementary School signaling it was time for them to head home. I walked back towards my building - rounded the corner - and there - parked right in front of my building . . . . . King County Sheriff car!!! Now - most people would think that something must be going on with one of their neighbors. I on the other hand immediately wonder what did I do or what did L do! My experiences have proven me correct on many occasions and this time was no exception! The Deputy got out of the car while I was walking back with Chrissy and disappeared - I wasn't sure which stack of stairs he had gone up - until I headed up mine. There - standing at the top of the stairs - in front of my door - King County Sheriff Deputy. The whole situation only lasted several minutes but it freaked me out so I'm not sure I remember everything that was said . . . . . .
- Deputy - Do you live here?
- Me - Yes
- Deputy - Which one is yours?
- Me - The door you're standing in front of.
- Deputy - What's your name?
- Me - I gave him my name
- Deputy - Do you know L
- Me - Yes
- Deputy - Is she in there
- Me - No, she doesn't live here anymore.
- Deputy - Did you and her part on good terms.
- Me - Yes. I'm her Mom. Can you tell me what this is about?
- Deputy - No, she's an adult and due to privacy laws I can't tell you anything.
He then said that he needed to talk to her and show her some photos. He asked if she would be coming by here anytime soon. He left it by giving me his number and name to give to her and have her call him. I gave her the number but I don't think she's called him. The whole thing just creeped me out. Does he really just need to talk to her about something or is he coming after her because of the warrant that she has due to not showing up for her DUI court date. If she meets with him is she going to be arrested? She's just finally getting things together . . . . . . but it looks like some of her mistakes are possibly catching up with her.
So . . . . whoever it was . . . . . Quit Jinxing Me!!!
De
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Subtlety
I have been looking for something but not sure what - I have prayed for answers - guidance - direction.
God answers your prayers in very different ways - not necessarily the way you might be expecting - sometimes it is so subtle that the signs have to be given to you over and over in order to get you pointed in the right direction.
Most of last week I had that nagging feeling you get in the back of your head that you might be forgetting something - all full of anxiety and not knowing what it is. I was also stressed from close - changes in my life - so much going on in my head. Friday night I was outside walking Chrissy along the sidewalk in front of my condo complex. Chrissy was not being very quick about her business too interested in sniffing everything and checking out the shadows behind trees. While out there two young men dressed in shorts and ties came up and started talking to me - Yes, they were missionaries - I stopped and spoke with them for awhile. Then we moved under a street light and they shared with me. I set up an appointment to meet with them again on Sunday to learn more about The Book of Mormon.
Sunday they came by and we talked more about being Mormon - they brought me a Book of Mormon and we talked - I have another meeting with them on Tuesday to talk about the chapter they want me to read.
I feel in my heart that it was divine intervention that I met up with these two on Friday. Since Friday that feeling of anxiety has been gone.
De
God answers your prayers in very different ways - not necessarily the way you might be expecting - sometimes it is so subtle that the signs have to be given to you over and over in order to get you pointed in the right direction.
Most of last week I had that nagging feeling you get in the back of your head that you might be forgetting something - all full of anxiety and not knowing what it is. I was also stressed from close - changes in my life - so much going on in my head. Friday night I was outside walking Chrissy along the sidewalk in front of my condo complex. Chrissy was not being very quick about her business too interested in sniffing everything and checking out the shadows behind trees. While out there two young men dressed in shorts and ties came up and started talking to me - Yes, they were missionaries - I stopped and spoke with them for awhile. Then we moved under a street light and they shared with me. I set up an appointment to meet with them again on Sunday to learn more about The Book of Mormon.
Sunday they came by and we talked more about being Mormon - they brought me a Book of Mormon and we talked - I have another meeting with them on Tuesday to talk about the chapter they want me to read.
I feel in my heart that it was divine intervention that I met up with these two on Friday. Since Friday that feeling of anxiety has been gone.
De
Thursday, October 7, 2010
And On A Lighter Note
Yesterday's entry must have been too heavy - I thought I would get some comments - people's thoughts - but nope - nothing. So - either no one read it - or it was just a subject no one felt strongly about. So - moving on to something lighter . . . . . . . Chrissy!
She is really turning in to a character . . . . personality coming out. I have been so wrapped up lately with the fact that she "is not Muppet" that I have not been looking at what Chrissy is. So - here are a few things that she does that are Chrissy things -
So I baked cookies tonight - new recipe Pumpkin Snickerdoodles. I think the last time I made snickerdoodles was Home Ec class in High School. I hope they taste OK - my workmates will be my guinea pigs tomorrow - At least it's also Bagel Friday so if they taste yucky everyone will have something else to eat! The last batch should be coming out of the oven soon and then it's time for bed.
De
She is really turning in to a character . . . . personality coming out. I have been so wrapped up lately with the fact that she "is not Muppet" that I have not been looking at what Chrissy is. So - here are a few things that she does that are Chrissy things -
- In the morning when I open her crate she rolls over so she can get her belly scratched - that's how she likes to start her day.
- When it is time for me to leave for work she runs around the living room - jumps on the couch and looks at me. I say "Look Cute" and she puts her head on her paws and gives me sad puppy eyes! This gets her another belly rub and then time to go in the kitchen.
- When I get home - and this is as close to a Muppet thing as she gets - she lays flat on the kitchen floor and then when I reach over the gate to get her she stands on her hind legs and does her version of a Muppet Dance! Not quite as cute - a little spastic in fact - but it is funny!
- When it is later at night - like after 8 - she starts to calm down a little bit - she likes to sit on the couch next to me and chew on her toys. Tonight I am baking cookies and every time I get up off the couch and go to the kitchen she follows me to see what I'm doing. Then she follows me back to the couch and sits right next to me with her toys! She may be on her way to becoming a Mama's Girl.
- It's not all cute and sweet stuff! When she has gotten outside through the front door - you have to be quick in closing it or else she gets out. She is very Fast! Anyways - when she has gotten lose she has taken off running - zipping around the parking lot - she is fast and quick -weaving between parked cars - maybe the Seahawks should draft her as a running back! The other night she snuck outside and I went running after her - it was like a stand off, I wasn't sure how I was going to get her. Then I remembered a "Bonanza" trick - I unlocked the car, opened the door, she jumped right in!
 |
De
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
When Will It Stop
As a parent you look forward to the day your child grows up and goes away to college. You help pack them up, move them to the dorm, and tell them you love them and that this is one of the best times of their life. As a parent you worry about whether they will eat right, will they get enough sleep, will they remember to go to class, will they make friends, will they remember to do their laundry, will they be safe. You worry about their safety late at night, walking by themselves, going places with people they just met. One thing you don't think you need to talk about is bullying. I mean really - you figure all of that is left behind at the grade/middle/high school. But bullies go to college too - and these days the way they bully is hi-tech.
I am sure this is what Tyler Clementi's parents thought as they dropped their son of at his dorm at Rutgers. He was going to a well known college - going to enjoy all the experiences of dorm life. That's where the story takes a drastic turn. If you've been reading the papers or listening to the news you have heard the tragic story of how Tyler's roommate decided to transmit a live web feed out to the Internet of Tyler and another boy in Tyler's dorm room. Not being able to deal with what had happened Tyler took his own life.
This story has struck a chord with many people across the United States. You don't think about the possibility of your child committing suicide when you send them off to college.
Besides the senseless death of a young man, you know what pisses me off about this case - All the people coming to the defense of the roommate who secretly filmed Tyler and webcast it out to anyone who wanted to watch - "he's a good kid" "he made a mistake" "it was an innocent prank" "he didn't know this would happen" Shouldn't he have to take some responsibility for what happened? When someone accidentally hits a person in their car because they were texting they can be charged with manslaughter - I'm sure the driver didn't know that glancing down to read a message would end up killing another person - but they are held responsible for what happened. In this case - the "car" was the webcam and the "texting" was sending it out over the web. No matter how he thought this was going to end he should still be held responsible for how it did.
I heard some people say that all the responsibility is on Tyler. That he made the choice to end his life. That it was just a prank and he should have been able to deal with it. My belief is that these people were either bullies themselves or they never experienced being bullied. These people never felt helplessness, unable to change anything, that their life was not worth living. Sometimes you just get to a point where you can't handle it anymore. Was this the one and only thing that made Tyler end his life - or was this the straw that broke the camels back? Had his roommate being harassing him about being gay before the webcast - had he been bullied all his life. We will never know.
What I do know is that there have been too many teen suicides because of bullying. When are we as a society going to say enough is enough? When are we going to stand up for these victims? I get so mad when I hear people say "oh, kids will be kids" "they are good kids and good students" "It's just teasing and the victims should just ignore it" Yeah - I have never heard of a bully stopping what he/she was doing because their intended victim ignored them.
Until we as a society stand up and say that this behavior will not be tolerated - Until parents stop making excuses for their kids and start making them take responsibility for their actions - there are going to be more suicides.
De
I am sure this is what Tyler Clementi's parents thought as they dropped their son of at his dorm at Rutgers. He was going to a well known college - going to enjoy all the experiences of dorm life. That's where the story takes a drastic turn. If you've been reading the papers or listening to the news you have heard the tragic story of how Tyler's roommate decided to transmit a live web feed out to the Internet of Tyler and another boy in Tyler's dorm room. Not being able to deal with what had happened Tyler took his own life.
This story has struck a chord with many people across the United States. You don't think about the possibility of your child committing suicide when you send them off to college.
Besides the senseless death of a young man, you know what pisses me off about this case - All the people coming to the defense of the roommate who secretly filmed Tyler and webcast it out to anyone who wanted to watch - "he's a good kid" "he made a mistake" "it was an innocent prank" "he didn't know this would happen" Shouldn't he have to take some responsibility for what happened? When someone accidentally hits a person in their car because they were texting they can be charged with manslaughter - I'm sure the driver didn't know that glancing down to read a message would end up killing another person - but they are held responsible for what happened. In this case - the "car" was the webcam and the "texting" was sending it out over the web. No matter how he thought this was going to end he should still be held responsible for how it did.
I heard some people say that all the responsibility is on Tyler. That he made the choice to end his life. That it was just a prank and he should have been able to deal with it. My belief is that these people were either bullies themselves or they never experienced being bullied. These people never felt helplessness, unable to change anything, that their life was not worth living. Sometimes you just get to a point where you can't handle it anymore. Was this the one and only thing that made Tyler end his life - or was this the straw that broke the camels back? Had his roommate being harassing him about being gay before the webcast - had he been bullied all his life. We will never know.
What I do know is that there have been too many teen suicides because of bullying. When are we as a society going to say enough is enough? When are we going to stand up for these victims? I get so mad when I hear people say "oh, kids will be kids" "they are good kids and good students" "It's just teasing and the victims should just ignore it" Yeah - I have never heard of a bully stopping what he/she was doing because their intended victim ignored them.
Until we as a society stand up and say that this behavior will not be tolerated - Until parents stop making excuses for their kids and start making them take responsibility for their actions - there are going to be more suicides.
De
Monday, October 4, 2010
It's About Time
I know - y'all have been waiting ever so patiently to find out whether she did or didn't . . . . . . . . . Yes, L moved out this past Friday!!
I picked her up from work at 745 - brought her home so we could load the car and head on over to the new place. Didn't quite go that smoothly. She does not like to move! She had boxes packed but they didn't contain everything - every time I asked whether something was going with her she got irritated with me - which in turn pissed me off. Oh yeah - lots of arguing.
Me: What about the computer?
L: I can come back and get it another time.
Me: What about these clothes?
L: I'll go through them later?
Me: I'm not going to be a storage unit!
L: What's your problem! I'll get it later!
Me: Maybe you should have started packing earlier than the morning of the move!
Finally we got everything loaded in the car - then we had to drive over to E's Dad's place to get him - then it was to the new place. It's not too far away and it's a nice house. Good place for them.
Saturday L called - she had forgotten the pump for the air mattress and wanted to know if I could bring it by her work also she called to say she had gotten a wireless card for her computer and could I just bring that too and drive her home from work. Sure. I ventured in to the room to take apart the computer. As I was working on the computer I found some clothes that she had left behind - so I boxed up those and a few other things - like a red "vase" - carried everything down to my car - her monitor is extremely heavy!! Went to McDonald's to pick her up. Now - I thought I had done a nice thing by packing up the extra things - boy was I wrong!!
L: Why did you go through my things! Why couldn't you just bring the computer!
Me: I thought I was helping out.
L: I left those clothes there because I didn't need them!
Me: Well, you can't just leave things there!
L: Why didn't you just throw them out!
Me: Because if I had done that we would be having a different fight about them.
L: Well, you should just assume I got everything I wanted.
Me: So I can just throw out anything else I find in that room.
L: No! Check with me first!
Did I mention that I really need to invest in a hazmat suit to clean up the rest of the room - there were some very disgusting things in there. I had to bring in a box so I could gather up all of the dishes in there - I was wondering why I had no forks, spoons, or plastic plates in the kitchen - they were all in the room in varying stages of nastiness - gooey, dry, moldy, smelly! It really was disgusting!! I had to keep the door closed so Chrissy would stay out - she is like a hoover vacuum and I so did not need her eating anything that might be found on the floor!
Besides food I found empty beer cans, burnt matches, lots of soot/ashes from either cigarettes or a pipe, It is so gross!! Wish I could just have someone come out, gut the room, and put it back together all nice and pretty. I have my work cut out for me.
De
I picked her up from work at 745 - brought her home so we could load the car and head on over to the new place. Didn't quite go that smoothly. She does not like to move! She had boxes packed but they didn't contain everything - every time I asked whether something was going with her she got irritated with me - which in turn pissed me off. Oh yeah - lots of arguing.
Me: What about the computer?
L: I can come back and get it another time.
Me: What about these clothes?
L: I'll go through them later?
Me: I'm not going to be a storage unit!
L: What's your problem! I'll get it later!
Me: Maybe you should have started packing earlier than the morning of the move!
Finally we got everything loaded in the car - then we had to drive over to E's Dad's place to get him - then it was to the new place. It's not too far away and it's a nice house. Good place for them.
Saturday L called - she had forgotten the pump for the air mattress and wanted to know if I could bring it by her work also she called to say she had gotten a wireless card for her computer and could I just bring that too and drive her home from work. Sure. I ventured in to the room to take apart the computer. As I was working on the computer I found some clothes that she had left behind - so I boxed up those and a few other things - like a red "vase" - carried everything down to my car - her monitor is extremely heavy!! Went to McDonald's to pick her up. Now - I thought I had done a nice thing by packing up the extra things - boy was I wrong!!
L: Why did you go through my things! Why couldn't you just bring the computer!
Me: I thought I was helping out.
L: I left those clothes there because I didn't need them!
Me: Well, you can't just leave things there!
L: Why didn't you just throw them out!
Me: Because if I had done that we would be having a different fight about them.
L: Well, you should just assume I got everything I wanted.
Me: So I can just throw out anything else I find in that room.
L: No! Check with me first!
Did I mention that I really need to invest in a hazmat suit to clean up the rest of the room - there were some very disgusting things in there. I had to bring in a box so I could gather up all of the dishes in there - I was wondering why I had no forks, spoons, or plastic plates in the kitchen - they were all in the room in varying stages of nastiness - gooey, dry, moldy, smelly! It really was disgusting!! I had to keep the door closed so Chrissy would stay out - she is like a hoover vacuum and I so did not need her eating anything that might be found on the floor!
Besides food I found empty beer cans, burnt matches, lots of soot/ashes from either cigarettes or a pipe, It is so gross!! Wish I could just have someone come out, gut the room, and put it back together all nice and pretty. I have my work cut out for me.
De
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